Google Voice is amazing.
I have a friend who calls me a lot. When I don’t pick up the phone, he has a lot to say. With Google Voice, I’ve had over a year of voicemails saved from him. And they’re pretty entertaining. So I decided to release them online — in one 51-track, full-length album. The official copy can be found at www.scottdonaldson.net/voicemails. The tracklist is below, and my personal favorites are in bold.
- I Know You Have This Google Thing 2:25
- Trevor Strongcock 1:15
- Strip of Venison Jerky 0:28
- On My Way to Wilmar 0:28
- I Ain’t Scurred 1:22
- Happy New Year 0:09
- You’ll Be Stunned 0:31
- Holy Shit 2:30
- Call Me, Call Me Back 0:27
- Call Me So Good 0:55
- Oh, I See 0:43
- You Fuckin’ Serious? 1:00
- Piss 0:26
- Tuesday Night 2:03
- I Bet You’re At Work 0:55
- [Heavy Breathing] 0:19
- I Was in Your Old Room Tonight 0:57
- Right Now I Am Sober 0:54
- Mess With a Capital ‘M’ 0:27
- Hey, Are You Getting Laid? 0:06
- I Found Some Graffiti About You 0:45
- We Have a Presentation to Give 0:46
- Do You Remember My Name? 0:17
- Wake Up in the Morning 1:03
- It’s Your Birthday 0:21
- Jaws All Over the Floor 0:20
- It’s the Return 2:04
- I’m Loitering 1:24
- Your Voicemail Called Me Back 1:39
- Quit Not Answering Your Phone 0:13
- Chinese Art Thing 0:46
- We Lost 0:24
- Good Luck Trying to Turn This into a Text 0:38
- Pen Island 0:25
- Google Voice 0:14
- Your Rabbit Just Had Its Way 0:13
- I’m Sitting Here in the Living Room 1:00
- Your Phone Keeps Beeping 1:21
- That One Thing I Was Trying to Do 1:32
- Humphrey’s Nibbling on My Sleeve 1:58
- Hey 0:20
- Mah Mah Mah Maaah 0:07
- I Need a Woman 1:23
- Sweat, Baby, Sweat 1:27
- Making some Mac ‘n’ Cheese 1:04
- I Just Finished Season 3 of LOST 1:02
- It Wasn’t a Flashback 1:09
- A Champion and a Scoundrel 0:06
- Salty Taste 0:35
- The Rudest Dickpunching 0:29
- Blumpasaurus Rex 0:53
